


Portrait of a Family

by pherryt



Series: What Family Means [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: A little bit of angst, Alpha!Dean, Alpha!John, Christmas Time, Confrontation, Dinner Party, F/M, Family, M/M, Mary POV, Mpreg, Nursing, Timestamp, Twins, a lot of fluff, a/b/o dynamics, alpha!metatron, back labor, beta!hester, cas is inexplicably sad for a little bit but it passes, family portraits, family support, joshua's second birthday, mention of post partum depression, no ACTUAL labor, omega!Mary, omega!cas, surprise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 13:16:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13054752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pherryt/pseuds/pherryt
Summary: Cas continues to learn what it is to be part of arealfamily when the he and the rest of the Winchesters take Joshua for his first pictures with Santa.OrMary Winchester meets the Novaks.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ha! I said if I got inspired, i'd write that confrontation! I don't THINK i'll be adding anymore to this verse (but i THINK jdragon is also hoping i will!)
> 
> [jdragon122](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Jdragon122) beta'd this with me! thank you! :D Good luck on your finals!

Mary cursed when she rifled through the mail and found another envelope marked from the Novaks. John found her moments later shredding it. He took in her stance and scent and said, “Let me guess, they still haven’t given up?”

“Nope. And I’m not about to let Cas find it this time. He doesn’t need this stress in his life.”

“Or us in ours?” John asked with a grin.

“Oh, hell no. Those people don’t deserve someone as good as Cas and our grandson in their lives.” Mary gritted out. She watched in satisfaction as the papers came out in tatters.

It wasn’t going to end there, of course. She’d been tossing all correspondence from the Novaks since Joshua was born. Even after Cas’s name had been cleared, his parents had shown no interest in reconciliation until they’d discovered they had a grandson.

And if Mary could have figured out who had had the nerve to tell them, she’d have given them a piece of her mind, for certain.

Every time she thought about that sweet, thoughtful young man growing up in that household, it made her blood boil. She was unsure how they could have managed to raise such a loving person as him - and Gabriel, too, despite all his quirks - when neither of them were shown an ounce of love, and Castiel even less.

She pushed the thoughts out of her head. She didn’t need to remind herself how everything Cas had gotten from his family had been grudging, or with conditions, or how he’d not had a childhood at all, really. She had better concerns right now then stinking up the kitchen with a foul mood.

Joshua’s second Christmas was coming. The first that he’d be able to really take in, and Mary refused to let any hidebound, bigoted and selfish assholes - parents or not - ruin that for this family.

Mary called through the house as she wiped her hands clean of any lingering scraps of paper. “Are you boys ready yet?”

“Yeah, mom, just a minute,” Dean called back.

She smiled when he appeared, Joshua toddling beside him, his little hand engulfed in Dean’s. Cas was just behind them, fussing over the back of Dean’s collar.

Mary went over and scooped up her grandson and cooed at him. “Is my  big boy ready to meet Santa?” Joshua giggled and hid his face in her neck. 

“C’mon, Mary, he doesn’t know who Santa is yet,” John said with a grin, looking over Mary’s shoulder and trying to catch Joshua’s attention so he could make faces at him.

“Pssh...how else will he learn?” She said, smiling softly at the boy, before turning to look back at Dean and Cas. “How about you two? Ready for this?”

“Mooom,” Dean groaned, rolling his eyes.

“What, are you telling me you’re too old to sit on Santa’s lap, Dean?” Mary teased. John chuckled but wisely stayed out of it.

The five of them were quickly packed like sardines into the car - snagging Sam on the way - and on their way to the mall they went. It was a good thing, she thought, that they’d bought a bigger vehicle, for such family outings as this. John teased once or twice about their new vehicle being a soccer mom van but hadn’t really protested at the necessity for it.

It was making Mary sad to realize that soon they really wouldn’t need it except for special occasions like this. Dean and Cas would be moving out soon, even if the boys hadn’t realized it yet.

That was their christmas present from the family. Mary and John had put a downpayment on a place with the help of the rest of the family and friends, having found something perfect, not too far from them. She was sad to see her son and his family leave their little nest, but the house was really too small for them to continue expanding and Dean and Cas deserved a little privacy - and the option to  _ not  _ have to spend their heats and ruts in one of those speciality hotels.

They were soon at the mall, everyone dressed in their best, though somehow Cas managed to look just as rumpled as usual. She watched him tug and smooth at the lines of his deep green dress shirt with a smile as Dean set up the stroller for Joshua. It wasn’t long before they were making their way through Christmas shoppers. They cut a path easily through the crowd, not heading for any of the stores - not yet anyway.

In the very center of the mall was a rotunda. Usually it was empty, three little steps down that people used as benches while children ran and laughed and played in the center, but today it was something different, something special.

Today, it was Santa’s Village.

Dean, Cas and Mary got into the line with Joshua, while John and Sam decided to scope out other things while they waited. They'd gotten there early enough that the line was not yet out of control and they hoped they would not have to wait long.

Cas peered around the crowds to try and see past the line and to the Santa who already had a child on his lap. Mary could smell how nervous he was as he tugged once more at his shirt.

“How does this work again?”

Dean blinked and turned to look at his mate. “What, you’ve never done this before?”

Castiel shook his head sheepishly, looking down and away. He sighed and looked backup, the forlorn and wistful scent just barely making itself known. He shrugged. “No. Our parents thought it was foolish and a bit...gauche. We never sat on Santa’s lap or...went to anything like this, really.”

Mary’s blood rose to boiling again, watching as her son laid a hand on Castiel’s shoulder, drawing him into a hug. “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. You’re parents were jackasses.”

“I won’t argue that. I never knew what families could  _ really  _ be until...until all of you.” Cas’s words were so soft, Mary almost didn’t hear them. She pretended not to, giving them some privacy, not wanting Cas to feel any more wretched or embarrassed then he already was.

Thankfully, the line moved quickly. Before any of them knew it, Joshua was being placed on Santa’s lap. 

The little boy looked at the white bearded man uncertainly, then turned to look over at his father's with that same uncertain look on his face. Dean leaned in close and encouraged Joshua while Cas hovered nearby, his hands twisting, probably even more nervous and anxious then his son.

Santa leaned down and whispered something to Joshua that had Dean laughing, throwing his head back. Cas looked between his mate and the Santa, then sniffed the air. He blinked and a relieved smile came over his face. Mary was too far away to hear anything that was happening, but she could see that Joshua had relaxed, and was no longer looking to either of his fathers to rescue him from this stranger. 

She had no clue what had changed but the pictures went off without a hitch and Joshua even hugged the Santa before climbing down off his lap. An elf handed Joshua a candy cane as they left, and the little boy was beaming as they rejoined Mary, after stopping to get their photos.

“What happened?” she demanded, curiously.

“Santa turned out to be someone we know…” Dean grinned mischievously. “I don’t think Josh figured out who, but he was familiar enough with the scent to relax. Worked out perfectly. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such good Santa pics as these!”

“I’m really glad it was Benny, Joshua likes him,” Cas said, helping Joshua back into the stroller.

Dean nodded. “Same. And I think that’s a good sign. Hopefully we can get those family portraits we wanted. We should go soon, though, while Josh is still in a relatively good and cooperative mood,” Dean pointed out.

“I agree,” Cas said as he finished buckling his son back into the stroller. He winced a little as he stood back up from his crouch, rubbing at the small of his back.

“You okay, babe?” Dean reached out for his mate and Cas leaned into him briefly. 

“Yes. I just haven’t been able to get comfortable on the bed the past few nights. My lower back is killing me.”

“Hmm...I’ll give you a massage when we get back, how’s that sound?” Dean bumped his head against Cas’s and Cas smiled at him warmly.

“That sounds heavenly.”

Mary smiled and took hold of Joshua’s stroller and rolled away, looking over her shoulder. “You boys comin’?”

They followed her through one leg of the mall till they reached the JCPenny’s, navigating through clothing racks till they found the back of the store, where John and Sam were waiting. John stood as soon as he saw her, embracing Mary and giving her a nice, strong whiff of the utter love and contentment he held for her. She relaxed into it and gave him a loving kiss, kept short for the sake of being out in public, before she pulled away.

“Is everything all set?”

John nodded. “Yup, they have the next scheduled appointment. Good thing you sent me ahead. Five more families walked in right after me.”

The wait wasn’t long, thankfully. Mary could well remember how impatient Dean used to get while waiting and she - and everyone else, she was sure - wanted Joshua to remain as uncranky as possible. They picked out the background - a decorated tree in front of a fireplace - and took the next half an hour getting various family portraits. Some with just Dean, Cas and Josh, and then a few with all of them.

The timing worked out wonderfully, since Joshua started getting grumbly soon after the last photo was taken. Instead of putting him back in his stroller, Cas picked him up and held him against his hip. Joshua, sleepy and hungry, nuzzled against Cas and whined. They wasted no time in leaving the studio and walking through the department store, Mary and John watching how Dean slung an arm around Cas’s waist as they did. Sam charged ahead on his gangly, teenage legs, and Mary felt a pang of sadness rush through her.

Dean, Cas and Josh would be leaving soon, even if it wasn’t far, and it wouldn’t be too much longer before Sam left for college - his aspirations were high - and Mary and John would be left alone in their house for the first time in almost 20 years.

She wasn’t entirely sure how she would adjust.

Mary was yanked out of her melancholy thoughts when Cas stiffened, stopping short. Dean moved a step, two before yanking to a stop as he realized Cas had stopped moving. Mary hurried forward, John on her heels.

“Cas? Sweetie? Are you  alrightall right ?” she came around in front of him, noticing he was staring ahead in shock. She followed her gaze to see another middle aged couple bearing down on her son and his mate. 

Dean stiffened an instant later and then the scents flowing off the couple assaulted her nose and Mary took an involuntary step back.

Joshua started crying, which broke Cas’s deer in the headlights look. He looked down at his son and started rocking and making soothing sounds.

“Castiel! My son! And is this Joshua?” the woman reached for the little boy and Castiel jerked away, Dean stepping between them with a glare.

“Don’t you  _ dare _ touch my family,” Dean growled.

“Listen you little prick, Castiel is  _ my  _ son.  _ My _ family,” the shorter man glared up at Dean, stabbing a finger at them.

“You lost that right when you kicked your son to the curb,” Dean pushed forward. “When you decided to believe the worst of him, though he’d never given you cause to think he was anything other than a good man. You didn’t appreciate your son when you had him.  _ You don’t deserve him _ .” 

“Dean, please, let’s just go.” Castiel tugged at Dean’s elbow and the Alpha turned toward his mate, wrapping him in his arms at the sound of weariness in the gravelly voice.

He guided Cas and Josh around the Novaks, leaving the stroller behind, Sam darting back to snag it without a word.

Mary and John watched the scene wordlessly. When Cas’s parents turned to go after their son, Mary couldn't take it any more. She watched Mr. Novak grab hold of Cas’s arm, the arm holding Joshua and making the little boy wobble enough to cause her heart to stop for a brief second before she walked right up to them and decked Mr. Novak.

“How  _ dare  _ you?” Mrs. Novak screeched. “How dare you lay a  _ finger _ on my mate?”

“Careful, bitch, or I’ll do the same to you!” Mary gritted out, hands balled into fists at her side, John standing right behind her, a solid wall of comfort and support.

Mr. Novak picked himself up off the floor and felt at his jaw in stunned disbelief. He looked up at Mary and then his eyes slid past her to John. “Can’t you control your Omega?” he hissed.

“What, like you’ve tried to control yours? She’s her own person, and so is Cas. they’re both doing fine without  _ my  _ interference. And I’d watch that tone - because if Mary hadn’t beaten me to it, I’d have hit you too.” John rumbled out.

“Metatron,” Mrs. Novak hissed at her mate. “Show some spine. That’s our grandson, and I, for one, will not leave him in the hands of these…” She looked the Winchesters up and down with a sneer, what she thought of them clear on her face, and in the acrid taste of her scent.

It infuriated Mary even more. “Dean, Cas, why don’t you boys take Sam and Joshua out of here. John and I will join you in a few moments.”

“Mom, what are you going to -”

“Mary, please, you don’t have to -”

“It’s all right. I’m just going to give Cas’s parents a piece of my mind. It’s been a long time coming. We’ll be right behind you.”

Reluctantly, they heeded her words. The couple made to go after them but John and Mary blocked their way.

“Now, Mr. and Mrs. Novak,” Mary’s voice was calm, but filled with steel. She narrowed her eyes at the couple, arms crossed over her chest. “Why do you think we would let you anywhere near Cas or our grandchildren after the way you’ve treated him? After the way you’ve destroyed your own family. Four children, you had. What have you got left? You had at least two of the most wonderful boys in your care and all you did was stomp their spirits. I -  _ we  _ \- will never let you near Joshua or any other children Cas and Dean might have in the future. You will  _ not  _ get your hooks in them. They deserve a loving family, a  _ real  _ childhood and encouragement for the sake of support, not because you think it’ll better your good name.”

Metatron spluttered. “Now see here, you don’t get to tell  _ me  _ how to raise my family. You didn’t have an Omega for a son! It was disgraceful!”

“See, that's the problem,” John interrupted. “You see Omega’s as less than they are. Omegas are just like everyone else. Mary has always been more than my match in many things. She’s not dumb, or weak, and certainly is not property. If you can’t give a person basic human respect, then why should anyone respect you in return?”

“But...our grandson!” Mrs. Novak wailed when they turned and walked away.

“You lost him a long time ago,” Mary threw over her shoulder triumphantly. That had felt damn good. “And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stop trying to force your way into their lives. If we have to, we  _ will  _ call our lawyer, and our friends in law enforcement to  _ make  _ you stop.”

As soon as the doors closed behind them, Mary had to hold herself back from breaking into a run. Jittery, she reached the van and opened the door. She saw Sam in the back seat and Cas in Dean’s arms in the center seat, Joshua already in his carseat and looking much calmer than he’d been when the Novaks had shown up.

“You boys all right?” she asked.

“Yes. I’m so sorry this happened,” Cas picked his head up off Dean’s shoulder.

“No, babe, this isn’t your fault,” Dean said, stroking Cas’s hair soothingly.

Mary nodded. “Dean’s right. It’s not your fault they’re blind idiots who don’t know when to call it quits and leave well enough alone.”

“Why don’t we all just go home?” Johns voice rumbled out of the front seat, the door shutting behind him as he settled in.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea,” Mary said with a nod. She climbed into the front seat and buckled in, watching Dean and Cas settle in via the rearview mirror. John started up the car and they went home in silence, other than the babbling of Joshua as he stared out the window. 

The mood was slightly somber when the arrived home, Cas immediately picking up Joshua and bringing him into the room he shared with Dean. Technically, Josh had his own room now, but it wasn’t odd to find him in his parents room instead. Mary could understand that. She wouldn’t have wanted her sons to be seperated from her by an entire staircase. 

She headed to the kitchen with determination. Cookies, she decided, could brighten up any mood. She paused when she neared the trashcan and the nearby paper shredder and her mood fell further.

“Mary?” John came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders gently.

She turned in his arms and buried her face into his neck, clutching at his shirt. “What if this was my fault? We -  _ I - _ ignored all the warning signs. We should have already gone to Cain or Jody and filed... _ something _ . Anything at all. What this was, was harrassment. And I could have put a stop to it before they could have accosted Cas in public.”

Before she could continue, Cas’s gravelly voice flowed into the kitchen and Mary looked up at him, finding him standing in the doorway as he spoke, “No, Mary. This isn’t your fault. I thought we all agreed a long time ago about faults. If it’s not my fault, then it is neither of yours. The blame here solely goes to my parents. I am grateful every day that I’ve come to live with and to care for such a family as yours. It doesn’t erase my past, but it’s helped me move onwards to the future, to know how to be a better parent myself.” Cas’s hand came to rest on his belly and Mary blinked. Dean’s arms appeared, wrapping about his mate and Cas leaned back into his arms.

“I was going to wait till Christmas to tell you all, but I think it would be better to tell you now. I think we could all do with a mood lifter,” Cas’s lip quirked upward and Mary held her breath. 

“Baby, are you saying - ?”

Cas nodded. “Yes, I’m pregnant again. Not very far along yet…” he grabbed one of Dean’s hands and placed it over his stomach and threaded his fingers together. “But I know the signs now. I just waited to make sure before I said anything.”

Dean spun about Cas to face him and laughed. He grabbed Cas’s hands and pulled him close, kissing him softly. “I hope we get a girl this time,” Dean whispered, resting his forehead on Cas’s and staring into his eyes. “This family seems to run to boys. I think we could do with a girl. What do you think?”

“As long as it’s healthy,” Cas whispered. 

“Of course. That's all that really matters. Might be a bit of a tight squeeze but we’ll figure something out.” Dean’s eyes didn’t lift from Cas’s and both of them missed the silent exchange between Mary and John. Mary could see they had both come to the same conclusion at the same time and she grinned.

“About that…” she started, pulling her boys attention back to her and John.

John cleared his throat. “Yes, well, we also have something we were saving for Christmas but as that’s almost a month away and it might behoove you two to start making plans…”

“Wait right here,” Mary said. She quickly made her way to her and John's room and pulled out the bundle of paper she had stored safely in the top drawer of her dresser. She hadn’t wanted to lose something as important as this.

She returned to the kitchen to find that Cas and Dean had sat at the table, close together, their hands still touching as they waited with almost identical quizzical looks, their curiosity flooding the room. Mary handed the bundle to Cas and he took it with a glance at Dean. 

Equally in the dark, Dean just nodded encouragement and then leaned in close to see what Cas was uncovering. He unfolded the first paper and gasped as he read through it.

“You can’t be...you didn’t really...how?”

“Now, we didn’t buy it outright. What we did was gather up a collection for a downpayment large enough to make the monthly loan payments small enough to handle. Everyone chipped in on this,” John explained.

“Seems like it’s good timing. It’s a three bedroom just like this one, with a large backyard, two car garage and a basement that was recently redone with carpets, an extra bathroom, the works,” Mary explained as Dean and Cas flipped through each sheet. “We hope you don’t mind the fact that it’s not very far away from here either. We both wanted to be close enough to help if you needed it. If one of you got sick, or the kids need to be picked up at school because of work or anything, we want to be here for you. But you two deserve your own space, to build your own home.”

“Like you have,” Cas whispered, tears in his eyes.

“Like us, yes,” John agreed gently. 

Cas wiped at his eyes and nodded, a grin breaking through though his voice was still shaky. “This is...this is amazing.” his voice cracked and Dean gathered him up into his arms again, though the Alpha seemed nearly as affected as his mate.

Mary breathed a sigh of relief as she watched her son and his Omega absorb the news, saw how grateful they were to learn of their gift, how happy it made them. She’d been worried it would be seen as overstepping to take charge like that, or that it would look like her and John didn’t want them anymore, when in truth, she just wanted to help them.

Cas looked up and stood and within seconds she had his arms around her as he squeezed her tight. “Thank you,” he whispered.

He turned and hugged John as well, whispering the same words. 

Dean stood behind him, and as soon as Cas had let go of Mary, she was just as quickly engulfed in her son's arms before he dropped them to give the same treatment to his dad. He laughed as he pulled away.

“God, this is...this is awesome,” Dean grinned. “A real place of our own, another kid on the way…We’ve both got jobs we love...how’d we make out so well?”

Cas just grinned back in answer, shaking his head in astonishment. “I may have lost a family almost two years ago, but I’ve learned since that with one exception, they really weren’t one. The family that I’ve gained in return, the one that I’m making here, now, with you,” Cas caressed Dean’s cheek and the Alpha leaned into it, staring at his mate as adoringly as Cas stared back at him, “There’s just no words for what I feel. I’ve tried to find them before, and I fail every time.”

He looked at Mary and John, and Sam who had crept into the kitchen Mary wasn’t sure when. “Thank you, all of you, for being my family.”

Mary sniffled and then she led the way to a group hug. It briefly broke up to allow Joshua, who Cas had laid down on the bed for a nap, to snuggle his way in, his little arms trying to hug both of his dads at once. 

Within seconds, his head rested on Cas and his eyes had fluttered closed and Mary laughed softly. John swept a gentle hand across the boys brow to push the hair away from his eyes and Sam made good his escape while he could. 

Dean and Cas remained where they were as the hug broke up, staring at their perfect little boy and wondering what might the days ahead hold. 

Mary didn’t wonder. She knew.

It held love and family.

And that's  _ all _ she could ever wish for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had such a HARD TIME finding the right words to end this. I had other things written after Love and Family that were completely discarded, then Jdragon gave me 2 separate ideas that i liked SO MUCH i couldn't decide. so then i tried to combine them. but that didn't flow right, so i added more and it was just...starting to drag!
> 
> i finally forced myself to choose and here we are.
> 
> I was ranting to her so badly about Endings being HARD ala Chuck Shurley. *Sigh*


	2. Unexpected Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At Joshua's second birthday, Dean and Gabe arrange a surprise for Cas after a conversation Dean and Cas had about family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to put all my timestamps here but each one is a read alone event. i have the start of another one but not sure when it'll come out. so be sure to subscribe. Also, i don't plan on doing a LOT of timestamps. just whatever feels right, hence i'm leaving the chapter count as completed.

Dean lay back against the headboard of his and Cas’s shared bed, Cas tucked in against him. Both of their hands were joined over Cas’s impressive belly. Dean was absolutely certain that Cas was bigger this time around.

He wondered guiltily if that had anything to do with how things had been the first time. How Cas had been so sick, and then homeless for the first 6 months of his pregnancy. Despite how far they’d come, despite that neither of them regretted Joshua, Dean couldn’t help the pang of guilt and shame for having put Cas in that position to begin with.

It was something they’d been working on for a while now. Nearly 3 years later and Dean was still hit with these bouts of guilt.

“Hey,” Cas twisted a little to look up at Dean. “Where’d you go?”

Dean’s arms tightened around Cas. “Nowhere. Right here. God, I love you.” He buried his nose in Cas’s neck, pulling in deep breaths and letting the Omega’s scent relax him. He couldn’t imagine not having this, not being here with his mate or his son and their soon to be child. But sometimes he wished things had been a little different.

He knew Cas didn’t regret any of it. Was even grateful for having met Dean and had told him as much on more than one occasion. But Dean wished that he hadn’t caused so much pain to the Omega. It hurt to remember those months where Cas was hurting because of Dean. It hurt to remember the month where Dean didn’t know what had happened to Cas, and to learn in retrospect that he was alone and pregnant and sick.

“No, Dean, what’s wrong?” Cas turned fully to stretch against Dean, his heavy stomach resting in Dean’s lap. He pulled Dean back to his neck and carded his fingers through the short, spiky hair.

Dean shrugged. He’d always had a little trouble getting his thoughts into words, but he tried to school his scent to not feel so guilty. He didn’t want Cas feeling bad when he had no reason to. His family had done that enough to him growing up.

“Hey uh… I just had a strange thought,” Dean blinked and pulled away. “You have any other family besides your brothers and your parents?”

Cas blinked back in surprise. “Uh, actually, yeah. A few cousins, an aunt I’d rather not have anything to do with and some sundry others that we didn’t see often. My parents set great stock in keeping up appearances, and that included playing nice with the rest of the family, though we were never allowed much meaningful interaction with them.”

“You ever miss them? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about them.” Dean couldn’t help but be curious now and the change of topic helped derail his guilty thoughts. He knew he shouldn’t feel that way - he and Cas had hashed it out years ago, more than once - but once in a while it’d just hit him like a ton of bricks.

“I… I don’t know? I didn’t really know them that well. I suppose, a couple of the cousins were almost friends? As much as we could be anything with my parents breathing down our necks. The rest of the family were allowed a much freer hand growing up, and my parents didn’t approve of that. So…” Cas trailed off with a shrug.

“Have you ever tried to contact them?”

Cas shook his head. “No. I figured they’d contact me if they wanted anything to do with the prodigal son.”

“Would you want them too?” Dean asked, biting his lip.

“A few of them, maybe. I miss Samandriel. He was young and shy and innocent. He had just presented as Omega, but his parents didn’t seem to mind as much as mine did. I have to admit, I was a little jealous of him, sometimes. And Anna wasn’t so bad either. She was stubborn as all hell, though and a real spitfire. She was one of the only ones I knew who could not only put up with Gabe but put him in his place if needed. And Hannah was quiet, but I always felt like there was more to her than met the eye. There was always a sort of steel in her that I could see, though she hid it well. She chose her fights carefully.” Cas mused, his eyes growing distant and wistful. But then he shook his head and Dean noted his scent had soured from the brief, wistful thing it had been.

Maybe Cas wouldn’t admit it, but it was obvious to Dean that he missed his cousins, missed having family of his own that accepted him. Sure, he had Gabriel, but was it enough?

Wasn’t having Dean and Joshua enough?

Dean shook himself out of that spiral before it could start. That was different. Cas was starting his own family with Dean and all, but he missed the family he’d grown up with, however restricted it had been. If Dean suddenly had no contact with his brother, he was sure he’d feel the same sadness Cas was.

They didn’t have much opportunity past that to talk about it. Joshua woke up and naptime was over, but Dean couldn’t get the conversation out of his head.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Cas soon forgot the strange conversation with Dean and the melancholy that it had brought with it. He and Dean were too wrapped up in planning Joshua’s second birthday – the first in their new house.

Spring weather intervened in their plans and instead of mid-April, the party was postponed till early May. Of course, the house was more than big enough to host the number of people they had invited, but they still wanted the party to be outdoors. Joshua  _ loved  _ the backyard and was always showing off the few flowers that the three of them had planted together in the last two months.

The party was going well, considering Joshua’s young age. Despite the number of people and the level of noise and activity, he was well entertained but not overwhelmed and with no imminent meltdowns looming on the horizon. Not that Joshua was much subject to those in the first place, thank God. He was such a sweet child, and both Cas  _ and  _ Dean were grateful for every day they had him in their lives.

Cas waddled around the party, checking on people and chatting happily, already feeling much more ungainly at five months along than he had while carrying Joshua in his entirety. But then, everything about this pregnancy was different.

He was healthier, for one, and less stressed for another.

And he wasn’t alone. That had a lot of impact right there.

Cas paused to gaze over at Dean across the yard. Dean had just leaned down to pick up their son, who’d run gleefully over to his father while laughing and carrying a dandelion. Dean swung him up and around, getting a happy squeal from the child.

He smiled at the obvious joy in his son; it was plastered on his face, easily heard in his laughter, even the simple, childhood scent conveyed Joshua’s pleasure to all. Cas was glad he and Dean were able to give Joshua this - both in their everyday lives and also for the special things, like this party.

In fact, the party was just the way Cas liked it: loose and unstructured, surrounded by friends and family simply gathered to chat. All of them, young and old, were having fun without the pressures of a schedule or the rigidness of what made acceptable behavior.

In other words, a far cry from the parties of Cas’s own childhood.

He could well remember being forced to sit in a straight-backed chair while dressed to the nines at such tender ages that should be allowed the freedom to run and play. Admonished to stay quiet, even on his own birthday, no exuberance or excitement allowed.

Such behavior was unbecoming, his parents had insisted. They’d always liked parading their offspring as model children, lording it over their neighbors and looking down on them.

His parents had always liked feeling superior to others. Cas just hadn’t recognized it then.

All in all, life in general – and parties specifically - had been a dull thing that he’d never quite realized wasn’t normal till much later in his life. When the Winchesters had found out about these experiences – of his  _ and  _ Gabe’s -  they had done their utmost best to make up for the lack in their lives.

Castiel still marveled at the fact that he’d seen his brother Gabriel in tears quite often over the last 2 years. And when it wasn’t something involving Cas, then it was usually because the Winchesters had once more included him in their life events – both the celebrations and the day to day occurrences - without a second thought and with no requirements, no conditions. Watching Gabe react had been as much of an eye opener to Cas as his own personal experiences had been, seeing how much the behavior seemed to be a shock to Gabe’s system every time someone considered him in that way.

It likely was. It certainly had been to Cas.

In addition to being unstructured, the food was also informal. Instead of a catered event with fancy foods and tiny portions, it was much more relaxed, with the grill changing grill masters as needed: Dean, John, Benny, Mary and Jody, all taking turns so each of them could take part in the party and still keep the food flowing, making sure there was always something ready for the next hungry person.

In fact, Cas was surprised to see that Gabriel wasn’t in the thick of it with them. Him and Mary had very much bonded over cooking, which had delighted both Dean and Cas – Cas because Mary was like the mother Gabriel had deserved and Dean because it meant more food.

Cas looked around, his brow furrowing as he searched for Gabriel. Now that he thought about it, had Gabe ever arrived? Cas had tried to greet every guest as they arrived, but there were many of them, and it was possible Gabe had slipped by him unseen.

Possible, but not likely. Gabe was not usually the type to remain so quiet that Cas wouldn't have cottoned on to him being there - eventually.

He excused himself from the company of Cain and his wife - Colette – and made his way laboriously over to Dean, Joshua tucked into the Alpha’s arms as he listened to their son babbling away.

Dean looked up, beaming, even before Cas could reach him or say a word. “Hey babe, all good?”

Despite his worry over Gabe, Cas couldn’t help but smile happily in return, leaning in for a kiss. Dean eagerly obliged till Joshua squirmed to get down. With a laugh, Dean set Joshua on his feet and they both watched as he toddled off after Sam.

Joshua  _ adored  _ the older boy who had seemed to shoot up in the past few months. At 15, Sam was all gangly arms and legs and even floppier hair now, and a junior in Highschool, but that didn’t mean he never had time for his nephew. It was the sweetest thing to watch.

An arm wrapped around Cas, pulling him in close, a chaste kiss hitting his temple.

“You okay?” Dean asked softly.

“Yeah, just… heavier than I’d like,” Cas huffed. “I hate not being able to move as easy or as long. And my back hurts some.”

“Awww… I’ll give you a massage later, babe,” Dean said, already rubbing circles into the small of Cas’s back. He groaned and slumped into Dean, burying his face in Dean’s neck, breathing in the Alpha scent of him, the love he exuded at pretty much every turn, even when they fought. “Unless you need something now?”

“No,” Cas sighed. “I’ll be fine. I’m just complaining.”

Dean hummed and continued to rub at Cas’s back and Cas didn’t make a move to stop him.

Eventually, though, he started murmuring into Dean’s neck the reason he’d initially come over – and hoping all the sound wasn’t muffled too much. Dean was turning him into putty like this, as usual. Cas was certain the Alpha had magic hands that only seemed to get better. “Actually, I was wondering if you’ve seen my brother?”

Dean stiffened and his fingers stilled. Cas tilted his head back to give him a sharp glance while sniffing the air.

“Dean…” he started cautiously, suspicion growing.

“It’s really not my fault, I swear,” Dean said hurriedly.

“Those aren’t really comforting words to hear. It means  _ something _ is going on, and that it’s something you may be worried about my reaction over,” Cas pointed out.

“Well, I’m kinda hoping it’ll turn out to be a good thing, y’know?” Dean said sheepishly, his face turning pink as he rubbed at the back of his neck. His scent was wary but hopeful and Cas relaxed. A little.

“Is there any point in asking what’s going on?” Cas asked with a sigh.

“I think Gabe wants it to be a surprise. Speaking of,” Dean paused, worrying at his lip, “I’m surprised he hasn’t come back yet.”

Castiel reached up and pulled Dean’s bottom lip away from his teeth and pressed a soothing kiss over the abused skin. “Well, why don’t you call him and find out what he’s up to, since obviously I can’t without spoiling anything?”

“Yeah, I can do tha-“ A commotion from the back door of the house made Dean look up and laugh. “Or not. Looks like your brother’s here.”

Cas turned to follow his mates gaze and his eyes landed on the expected Gabriel.

What he did not expect were the three others that followed closely behind him.

“What…?” Cas blinked in astonishment. Suddenly he remembered the conversation he and Dean had had somewhat recently - had it only been a week ago? – and tears filled his eyes.

“Hey, I hope you’re not mad,” Dean said softly.

Cas turned in his arms and buried his face into Dean’s neck. He couldn’t believe this was happening, that they were there! Would they still be as he remembered? Oh God! What if they weren’t? What if they were just like Mike and Luke and their parents? What if he was rejected by his family once more?

No, surely Gabe would have made sure before bringing them, right?

Dean’s hand resumed their soothing path along his back, though the motions were different, gentler now. “It’s okay, Cas. Take all the time you need. And I’ll be here with you if you want. I promise.”

The sounds of the party went on around them unabated, only those closest to Cas catching on to his turmoil through the changes of his scent. But at least they allowed him and Dean their privacy and none there knew what had caused it to begin with.

Footsteps approached and Cas felt himself winding up tighter than a spring. He hadn’t felt this rigid and tight in years and he hated the feeling. How had he lived like this his whole life? How had he not  _ suffocated  _ from it?

It was because he hadn’t known anything different. It was normal until it wasn’t and he could never go back to living that way.

“Maybe now wasn’t the best time,” Dean murmured into Cas’s ear. “I didn’t want you so upset. I  _ never  _ want you to be upset and I was kinda hoping this pregnancy could be as stress free on you as possible, kinda make up for the last time.”

“No, I’ll be fine,” Cas mumbled into Dean’s shirt before sniffling and pulling away. “I think I’d have been emotional no matter when this was sprung on me, pregnancy hormones or not. I just hope…” he sighed again, sliding a hand down to twine with one of Dean’s. “Come with me?”

“Of course, babe,” Dean answered.

They turned, finding that Gabriel was still on the back porch, and had not approached as they thought he had. His and Cas’s three cousins stood alongside him, while he made introductions to John and Mary. As they watched, Cas trying to gain the courage to move forward, they both caught Mary throwing a worried glance back at Cas and Dean. She did a questioning little head jerk towards the new arrivals and quirked a brow.

Cas huffed out a small, wet laugh. “How is your mother so perfect? She looks ready to toss them all out on their ears if I so much as say boo.”

“I ask myself that every day. I don’t know how I got so lucky, but I’m so glad I get to share her with you. You deserve her,” Dean assured Cast. “Now let’s go over and let her know you don’t need any rescuing.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

All in all, the reunion went better than Dean could ever have dreamed. He knew there would be turmoil when Gabriel got it in his head to find the cousins after Dean happened to mention the conversation with Cas – how could there not be? – but despite his nerves, Cas bravely went to face his family.

Samandriel was just as shy as Dean had been told – shyer, even, then he expected. And absolutely adorable. While he’d been lead to believe that Samandriel was a fully legal adult, Dean actually had a lot of trouble believing that.

If he’d looked as young at 16 as Samandriel did at 20 when Dean and Cas had met, they would never have gotten into the mess that had ensued. Cas would have taken one look at him and politely walked away.

Hannah was also as quiet as he’d expected, but he noticed that her big, dark eyes didn’t miss a thing. She was watching everyone around her like a hawk and she was most definitely determining something – whether for better or worse, Dean had no idea. Her face gave nothing away.

It was Anna who stepped forward first, as soon as she caught sight of Castiel.

“Castiel!” she called out, her face breaking out into a smile. “Oh my goodness, look at you!” She held out her arms, hopefully, and Dean gave her props for not forcing the hug on Cas. Cas stared at her for a long second and Dean held his breath to see what would happen.

In an eyeblink, Cas was in his cousins’ arms and hugging her tightly.

“Oh, Cas,” she said sadly, closing her eyes and tucking her head against his. “I’m sorry your parents are dicks. I never liked Uncle Metatron and Aunt Hester. I only ever tolerated them for you and Gabe. I’m sorry I never reached out to you, after. We were afraid you would want nothing to do with us.”

Cas drew back and blinked. The shock had wiped his scent clear and Dean almost sneezed at the absence of  _ anything _ .

“You… were afraid that I wanted nothing to do with… with  _ you _ ?” Cas asked with almost comically wide eyes, though Dean didn’t feel like laughing. “But why?”

“Because we didn’t step in or, or intercede on your behalf. We never fought the status quo… and you suffered for it,” Anna said. Dean could breath the guilt and sadness radiating off of her and, he now realized, off the other two as well.

“Why don’t we all go inside?” Dean murmured, taking Cas’s elbow.

“I think that’s a great idea,” Mary said.

“Yes, of course,” Cas agreed.

Dean lead them all inside to their living room, his parents making themselves scarce after first checking with Dean and Cas if that’s what they wanted. Cas nodded absently, before taking his spot on the sofa, Dean nestled in behind him. Gabriel took the recliner and the cousins found seats on another couch.

“I don’t blame you,” Cas said, breaking the uneasy silence that had settled between the six of them. “Any more than I did Gabriel, which was not at all. We were all at the mercy of our elders when we were growing up, and I didn’t even realize how much I was being… oppressed just living there. I can tell you that the three of you, and Gabriel, were the bright spots of any family gathering for me. I always looked forward to seeing you all. You brought a warmth and laughter that I didn’t even know was missing, even though, I suspect, you were forced to mute it.”

Anna laughed. “You wouldn’t  _ believe  _ how much!”

Her words broke the tension and Cas relaxed into Dean. Dean breathed a sigh of relief as he shifted instinctively to bring his arms around Cas. He hoped the love he felt was a stronger scent then the worry, because he didn’t want to make things any harder on Cas. At least things seemed to be going all right so far.

When the round of chuckles ceased, Cas continued. “Let’s face it, I’m sure our parents would have disallowed any of you to be near us if you had behaved in a way they felt unfitting or perhaps corruptive. The balancing act you three must have had to play at just to stick around,” Cas shook his head wonderingly, “I cannot even imagine. But I am _more grateful_ than you can believe. The three of you gave me just enough that… when I was given the chance for more elsewhere –“

A hand crept into Dean’s, holding on tightly and Dean swooped down to leave a kiss along Cas’s stubbled cheek, squeezing his fingers reassuringly in return.

“I realize now, that because of you, because of Gabriel who was just as stuck and damaged as I was, though yes – “ Cas spoke up over his brothers protests, “I understand that it was different. I am not playing the ‘who had it worse’ game with you, Gabriel. But without all of you, and your persistence in letting me know I was loved and lovable – it’s because of all of you that I now have this wonderful – “

Cas started choking up, but when Dean sniffed the air, the scent wasn’t unhappy. “- this wonderful family. I was able to recognize and to accept the love and respect they had for me. Without your example in the face of our adversities… I might not have let myself believe that what Dean and his family felt, the things they did for me – and for Gabriel – were  _ real _ .”

“And I would have lost out on so much,” Castiel ended with a whisper.

Dean’s heart ached with the admission and he pulled Cas deeper into his embrace, running his fingers through his messy head as surreptitiously as he could.

“Wow,” Hannah, the dark-haired cousin, said softly. “You’ve practically turned us into saints. I don’t know if we can live up to that, Cas. I may never  _ mean _ to harm you, but I’m only human.”

Anna nodded. “Same. Also, you might not even like the real me once you get the chance to see me, fully unfiltered.”

“Gabriel’s my brother. If you mean that, about never intentionally hurting me or my family, then I highly doubt there is anything you can do that will scare me a way,” Castiel assured.

Samandriel smiled and spoke for the first time. “I’m just so glad to see you happy, Castiel. I always thought you deserved it.” He leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially with wide eyes. “Aunt Hester and Uncle Metatron  _ always _ scared me – even  _ before _ I presented. I cannot imagine living with them for as long as you did. Your strength has been an inspiration to me. So, seeing you happy makes me happy.”

“Thank you, Samandriel,” Cas said softly. 

Dean relaxed with every word he heard, finally convinced that bringing the three cousins back into Cas’s lifew was  _ not  _ a mistake.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The somber conversation, the confessions and forgiveness it engendered, seemed to break the ice and soon the cousins had joined the party proper. It didn’t take long for them to start being introduced to everyone, little by little, as the party went on around them, easily enfolding them into it’s beating heart. It was one of the things that Cas had felt keenly about the Winchesters and their friends. When accepted among them, people simply…  _ became _ their family.

It was like nothing Cas had ever experienced and, judging from their scents that occasionally wafted strong enough to reach Cas’s nose, neither had they.

Right off the bat, Samandriel and Anna both fell in love with Joshua, while Hannah held back, uncertainly. Cas exchanged a proud smile with Dean.

“Our son just charms everyone that sets their eyes on him,” Cas asked. “Doesn’t he?”

“Well…  _ almost  _ everyone,” Dean chuckled, pointing at Hannah. Cas rolled his eyes.

Of course, it was uneasy Hannah that Joshua beelined for. 

Joshua took her by the hand as she cast a helpless look at Castiel and he led her around on a tour of the backyard – which included random people, his garden and, of course, his toys. Her brow furrowed as she paid solemn attention to him, trying her hardest to decipher his speech.

Dean laughed. “It’s like watching a cat pinpointing the one person in a room that’s allergic to them and deciding that is their new best friend!”

Anna and Samandriel laughed and thankfully took no offense at the whims of a two-year-old.

At first, the three of them stayed grouped together or with either Gabe or Castiel – unless Joshua had taken them under his wing, of course – but eventually they loosened up enough to start mingling, taking great advantage of the friendly and welcoming atmosphere to relax into people Cas had only ever gotten glimpses of before.

As the night wore on, Cas was  _ sure _ this wouldn’t be the last time he saw his cousins and he was feeling immensely glad of it. They were, apparently, fitting right in and he hadn’t even realized how much he’d missed them till they were there in front of him.

“Is Charlie flirting with Anna?” he asked Dean suddenly.

The two of them looked over at the two redheads laughing together.

“Oh, that’s gonna be trouble!” Dean chuckled. Then he blinked. And then blinked again. “Uh, are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

Cas shifted his gaze to follow his mates and found himself staring at Samandriel who was looking up at Benny with shy eyes and flushed cheeks. And Benny was… It was  _ his  _ turn to blink. “So… I guess Benny’s not so straight after all?”

“Huh,” Dean said in a wondering tone.

“Don’t tease him,” Cas poked Dean.

“What? No! I wouldn’t… well, not a lot anyway,” Dean said sheepishly. Cas raised is brow and Dean relented. “Okay, okay. I’ll tease – but later. Once he’s gotten comfortable with it. But uh… if you don’t want anyone teasing him? You better head off your brother.”

“Oh no…” Cas breathed.

Their fears were either unfounded or Benny didn’t take offense at whatever Gabriel had just said because instead, Benny just threw back his head and laughed. Before they could decide whether it was time to go over and intercede, Joshua claimed their attention.

As evening approached and the party dwindled down, the cousins picked themselves up and reluctantly got ready to go, passing Cas their contact info before they did.

“Thank you,” Anna whispered into Cas’s ear as they hugged goodbye, her voice hitching with the unshed tears he could smell on her. 

Hannah took her place when Anna pulled away. She didn’t say anything, but her scent was every bit full of giddy relief. Cas could almost swear he’d felt her lips trembling against his neck and when  _ she  _ pulled away, her lips were pressed tightly together to hold her emotions in. She nodded once, briskly, then stepped aside to leave room for Samandriel.

Samandriel nearly threw himself into Cas’s arms, checking himself at the last second as he remembered Cas’s condition. He sniffled. “I missed you so much.” Stepping back, he unabashedly wiped at his eyes. Following Hannah and Anna, Samandriel paused in the door to wave at someone behind Cas, and then the cousins disappeared.

Benny blushed as eyes turned toward him. He mumbled something, kissed Joshua goodbye and left quickly, the roar of his pickup fading off as he drove down the street.

Charlie was the last to leave, winking conspiratorially at Dean and giving two thumbs up before vanishing out the door.

“You better call me tomorrow, red! I’ve got questions!” Dean called out after her. 

Their only response was the tinkle of her laugh. Cas grinned and shook his head, turning to help with the cleanup.

With everyone's - Mary, John, Sam and Eileen - help, it wasn’t long before everything had been cleared away, the last of the guests gone and Joshua put to bed. Cas and Dean lay curled together on the bed, enjoying the quiet moment and thinking over the day. 

“So, you’re not mad, babe?” Dean asked.

Cas smiled and proceeded to show Dean just how  _ not  _ upset he was.

It had, for so many reasons, been a very special day for them all. And Cas, for one, was glad that Joshua would have some other decent family members in his life, to love and shower him with affection the way a family should.

Joshua would get the things Cas and Gabe had never quite gotten. So, why would Cas be mad at Dean or Gabriel for that?

Cas fell asleep with a smile on his lips and joy in his heart, relishing in the warm and comforting embrace of his Alpha. He was so damn happy, and looking forward immensely to see what else life would bring their way.

Cas was certain it would be absolutely wonderful.

  
  
  
  



	3. Double Helpings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas hates being pregnant in the summer (because of the heat) and Dean's just glad it isn't the winter (because of the ice), but all in all, both of them are ready for the pregnancy to be over and they can't _wait_ to welcome the newest additions to their family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTES: Post Partum Depression - i didn't actually have this when i had my kid, though i had maybe 3 bouts of something weird that had me bursting into tears for no good reason at all. I don't know what was up with that, maybe i did have it and it was just a mild case, whatever. I'm kinda thinking the same for Cas.

“Never again” Cas groaned. He slid into the Impala, sweating and red faced. “Being pregnant in this heat is just unbearable. A winter pregnancy is much more preferable.”

Dean winced at the thought of another winter pregnancy. It was full of all sorts of worries, as well as some bad memories. “Well, I was thinking we should talk about that actually. Kinda thinking we’d want to hold off a little bit anyways on having more kids. This _is_ gonna make three!”

“True, I wouldn’t mind holding off,” Cas said, shoving his hands in front of the cold air coming out of the vent. “Actually, 3 kids… it feels just about right. What do you think?”

Dean sighed in relief as he got the car moving. “Oh, thank god. Cause I know I’ll love them but I’m feeling a little overwhelmed with the idea of two newborns at once and  _still_ making sure Joshua doesn’t feel slighted. He’s so young, I don’t think he’d understand. And I don’t want him thinking of his new siblings with resentment. I’d really like the three of them to bond the way Sammy and I did.”

Castiel smiled over at Dean and Dean felt all his anxiousness bleeding away.

“I’m so glad we agree. We’ll talk to Pamela about the steps we’ll need to take after the twins are born.”

“I still can’t believe it! Twins!” Dean gushed. “I don’t think we’ve ever had twins on our side of the family. Must come from yours.”

“Well, Mike and Luke are, so I suppose yes.” Castiel sighed, his scent going sad and Dean reached over to touch his hand.

“I’m sorry. I forgot your brothers were twins. I’m sure our kids will be better than they were. They’re going to have a lot of love around them,” Dean reassured.

“I feel awful for hating them – no, hating is too strong a word for it but…” Castiel sighed again. “I very much do  _not_ like them. All they’ve ever been was petty and cruel and… I’m not surprised how things worked out for them but they were my brothers, Dean. And I just wish we could have  _been_ brothers.”

“Least you got Gabe, and now Sammy. Oh, and if Eileen sticks around, we’re both getting a sister. Always wanted one of those,” Dean joked. He wasn’t sure this was the right tack to take but he felt like he needed to do or say something to comfort his mate and his options were limited while he drove.

“Well, there’s always Charlie,” Cas pointed out wryly and Dean relaxed again, chuckling. Cas always could read him too well.

“That’s true. And in that case, Benny’s like another brother,” Dean agreed.

“So you think you’re gonna go into labor again during the baby shower?” Dean said after a few minutes of comfortable silence. “Cause, as exciting as that was the first time, I wouldn’t mind  _not_ repeating that.”

Cas chuckled. “Same. Though being surrounded by loved ones did make it easier to bear. Although, there’s something I don’t understand, since you brought it up. Why do we need a second baby shower?”

“Technically, I think it’s called a sprinkle, cause it’s just supposed to be a refresh on things you already have. Replace the things that need replacing, add a few things we didn’t need before. Like a double stroller, and a second car seat and you know how the family is. They like to spoil people. Any excuse they can get.”

“True, they’re wonderful people. Plus,” Cas said solemnly, though his scent gave away his mirth, “diapers can _never_ go wrong.”

Dean laughed as the car rolled to a stop in their driveway. The two of them sat there for a moment as the Impala clicked and cooled off. Dean and Cas stared at the small house, just the right size for them. And if they stopped at three, there shouldn’t even be a need to expand. They could truly settle in here and make it a home.

“Are you disappointed we couldn’t find out the genders today?” Cas asked quietly.

“Meh, maybe a little,” Dean shrugged. “But that’s okay. I’m cool with whatever. You know that.”

“Mmmm…” Cas smiled sweetly and leaned over to kiss Dean, the love the omega had for Dean filled the car thickly, and Dean’s scent was just as thick, just as strong. He could stay frozen in this moment with Cas and be forever happy.

But eventually they broke away from each other. Off, the car quickly became stifling and Dean got out and hurried around to help Cas out of the car.

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas said, huffing. He was bigger now than even two months back at Joshua’s party and while Dean enjoyed seeing him like this, he hated how much it took out of Cas. He well knew how ready Cas was to be done with this part of it. Truthfully, as much as he loved this version of Cas – hell, he was so besotted that he loved  _any_ version of Cas that wasn’t hurting - so was Dean.

He was excited to meet his new babies.

They both were.

They were met inside by Gabriel who’d been babysitting Joshua while Dean took Cas to his well appointment. Joshua instantly surged towards Cas and wrapped himself around Cas’s leg, looking up with pleading eyes.

“No, sweetheart… I can’t take you for a ride, but you can cuddle with me on the couch.”

“Say hi to babies?” Joshua asked, pointing at Cas’s stomach.

“Of course. They love hearing your voice. They know you’re their big brother and how special that makes you,” Cas said with a smile.

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “I’ll get started on dinner. What time does everyone arrive again?”

“I think Hannah said she planned to get here about six. Charlie and Anna are hanging out together all day so I think they said they might be a little late. They were doing some LARP event at the library,” Cas said as he led Joshua over to the couch.

“And Samandriel and Benny are coming together, right?” Dean asked.

“Last I heard, yes.” Cas groaned as he sat down and Joshua climbed up to sit next to his dad, leaning over to press his ear to Cas’s stomach.

“I still can’t believe that,” Dean shook his head again before walking way to start dinner.

Who knew getting Cas back in touch with those family members he’d missed would result in them becoming so much closer and tying Dean’s two best friends even closer to him then before? He’d always thought of Benny and Charlie as family and if things continued they were, they really  _would_  be.

With so many attending dinner – Dean, Cas and Joshua, Gabriel and Hannah, Anna and Charlie, Benny and Samandriel – Dean wound up having to set the newly finished table in the dining room. They were still a little light on furniture, but they had plenty of time to make this the home they wanted.

No, it was already home, he thought fondly as he watched Gabriel chase Joshua around the couch. The bell rang just as he finished putting out the place settings – nothing fancy, just a dinner with friends – and he wiped his hands off on his jeans reflexively before answering the door.

“Hey Benny, hey Alfie,” Dean said with a grin. “Fancy the two of you, coming together again. People might think something’s up.”

Benny rolled his eyes and Alfie blushed. “Can it, brother.”

Deans grin only got wider. “Absolutely no-“

“Dean!” Cas called sharply.

Chuckling, Dean stepped aside and let them in. “Anyway, you’re just in time. Foods almost ready and Gabriel _almost_ has Joshua worn out.”

Benny and Alfie – Dean still shook his head at the nickname because seriously, how did you get Alfie out of Samandriel? Wait, that sounded a lot dirtier than he meant. Damn good thing telepathy wasn’t a thing – moved past him and over to where Cas still lounged on the couch, his feet propped up on a hassock piled with pillows because he refused to take over the entire couch when he got off his feet.

“Hey, brother,” Benny drawled, clasping Cas’s hand before Samandriel moved in to hug him. The two of them sat down on the couch beside Cas, and Dean noted instantly the space they’d left between Cas and themselves, and how little there was between themselves.

“Hello Benny, Alfie,” Cas said, smiling. “It’s good to see you both again.”

Dean barely got a chance to move away from the door to join them before the bell rang again and he turned in time to avoid getting hit in the face by the door as Charlie waltzed in without waiting.

“Oh… blessed AC,” she sighed. “Thank _god_. I’ve been melting all frakkin’ day.”

Anna’s eyes flicked upwards as she sighed and closed the door behind them.

“Nice to see you too, Charles,” Dean said sarcastically.

She sniffed. “Oh, come on. Like you don’t hate being hot?”

“I’m _always_ hot,” Dean protested with an eyebrow wiggle. “But hands off. Cause only Cas can have me.”

“Ew,” Charlie said, wrinkling her nose at him.

Anna pulled her away as Dean laughed and followed along. Once more, he only got a few steps away before the bell rang again. Grumbling, he turned around and went back.

“I swear, did you all time that on purpose?” he asked, opening the door to find Hannah on the other side, as expected. Her head was tilted and she squinted at him.

“Time what on purpose?” she asked.

“Uh, nothing,” Dean said, awkwardly. “Come on in.”

This time, he made it all the way to the couch and he slipped in the space between the new couple and Cas, instantly wrapping an arm around Cas’s shoulder and encouraging Cas into his space.

“Looks like the gang’s all here,” Dean said happily.

“Good. Does that mean we can eat now?” Cas asked.

Benny, Charlie and Gabriel all laughed heartily at the question while Alfie grinned and Anna chuckled. Hannah paused on her way to a seat. “I’m so sorry, were you all waiting for me?”

“No, no, no,” Dean assured her. “You all came pretty close together.”

“I’m sorry, my appetite is, perhaps, a bit bigger than normal,” Cas said with a shrug.

“Well, duh,” Gabriel said from his spot on the floor, Joshua clambering all over him. “That’s cause you’re eating for two.”

“Well actually,” Cas gave Dean a quick look and together they nodded. “It’s three.”

Almost as one, the room gasped, except Joshua who was too busy poking Gabriel’s stomach. Honestly, Dean figured even if he was paying attention, Joshua wouldn’t have gotten it anyway. Not yet.

“Twins?” Charlie gushed. “Oh my gosh! That is _amazing!”_

“Do your parents know yet?” Benny asked Dean.

“Yeah, they were the first we told,” Dean said, a hand drifting over to touch the swell of Cas’s stomach. The others nodded at his statement. “We found out shortly after Josh’s birthday but we wanted to… let it sink in, I guess, before announcing it. But uh, twins have a tendency to come early and we all know how early Josh was so… we decided to tell you all tonight.”

“Makes sense,” Charlie said shrewdly. Then her eyes popped wide. “Oh! Twins! No wonder your mom has been discussing another baby shower! You’re gonna need _way_ more stuff to take care of two at once!”

“Hopefully not _too_ much more,” Cas interjected. “We still have Josh’s old clothes and bottles – “

“Don’t even worry about it,” Charlie said, holding up her hands.

“You’re going to have another shower?” Anna said, leaning forward. “That’s great!”

Cas tilted his head at her, but before she could explain herself, Alfie nodded and spoke.

“Yes! I’m so excited! We missed Josh’s of course and – oh!” Alfie’s nose flared and he hurried to add, “I mean, I don’t mean to say that… “ He groaned and buried his hands in his face, guilt washing off of him.

Dean blinked and exchanged confused glances with Cas. “Dude, are you all right?”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to assume! I – I – “ Alfie sniffled and Benny pulled him into an embrace, trying to sooth the Omega.

“Alfie, of course you’re invited. You all are,” Castiel said, reading out to touch Alfie’s arm gently. Alfie poked his head up from behind his hands, his eyes wet. Castie could smell the disbelief and hope coming off of his cousin.

“It’s okay, Cas. You don’t have to say that to avoid hurting our feelings,” Alfie said, sniffling again. “We understand why we weren’t invited the first time and none of us blame you for that. At all. And we’ve only just come back into your life. We – I’d – understand if you didn’t truly want us th –“

Alfie’s words were cut off with a woosh as Castiel made the effort to struggle up off the couch, Dean helpfully boosting him forward carefully, and wrapped his younger cousin in a hug. Alfie melted into it, Benny letting go.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cry. I swear, I – I – I wasn’t _trying_ to manipulate you,” Alfie stuttered out, hiccups interspersing his words.

“Truly, Alfie, I want you there,” Castiel said softly, running a hand over Alfie’s head. He looked over at Anna and Hannah. “All of you. I _did_ miss you. I missed having more of my family around me through such an important part of my life and I’m _glad_ you’ll be around for this one, and I hope you’ll be there in the future, for all the bits of my life – important or not.”

There was a few moments of silence, confusing scents mingling and overpowering the room. The acrid scents of guilt, sadness and melancholy giving way to hope, happiness, disbelief, love and so much more that tickled Dean’s nose and prompted him to sneeze.

The sneeze seemed to break the tension and the room laughed, joy and relief coming out on top.

Cas let go of Alfie who scrambled back to Benny’s arms. Benny kissed Alfie’s cheek before resting their heads together. It was a sweet moment that Dean could see Cas hated to break up as he bit his lip and glanced over at the table and back again, but then Cas’s stomach took that decision out of his hands by rumbling loudly.

Another peal of laughter echoed through the room and Dean stood as Cas flushed red. He held out both his hands to pull his husband and mate to his feet and left his own kiss on Cas’s cheek.

“Let’s get you and the twins fed, all right?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Dinner had been an all around success, despite the small hiccup with Alfie feeling as if he’d overstepped his bounds. Cas lay beside Dean, taking immense comfort in his presence. Sleep had been getting more and more difficult of late, and only his Alpha being near helped in anyway.

God, but his back hurt so much. He was only about 7 months along, but Cas was convinced he wouldn’t make 9 months. Even if he hadn’t had Joshua as proof of the likelihood, he’d been reading up on twins and one fact had most glaringly stuck.

They had a rather high tendency to deliver early. Sometimes disastrously so. On the plus side, 2 months wasn’t disastrous but it could still cause problems.

His back twinged and he shifted with a grimace. Dean shifted along with him, snorted, and then sniffed the air lightly.

Then sniffed again and opened his eyes.

“Babe?” Dean’s voice was rough and sleepy and Cas immediately felt a little guilty for keeping his mate up at night. Just because _he_ couldn’t sleep, didn’t mean there was any reason _Dean_ shouldn’t be able to sleep.

“I’m fine, Dean. Just can’t sleep,” Cas sighed.

Dean frowned, sitting up. “Cas, your scents changed. I think – “ he inhaled, deeply and his eyes went wide. “Shit, let me call mom so she can watch Joshua.”

He scrambled off the bed, his foot getting caught in the blanket and sending him tumbling. With a groan, Cas levered himself up on two arms and craned his neck to see his husband and mate sprawled out on the floor with a panicked look on his face.

“Dean, what – “

“Back labor!” Dean squeaked. “I think you’re in labor!”

Cas froze and scented the air. “I believe you’re right.” Pushing at himself to sit up properly, Cas attempted to swing his legs around to get ready to stand. “But I don’t think there’s any need to panic.”

Dean whined and suddenly Cas found his mate at his elbows, his phone in one hand and the other trying to pat Cas back down to the bed.

“Hold right there. Just… let me call mom… then I’ll help you get dressed.”

Cas raised an eyebrow but settled. Dean was panicking but not nearly as bad as the last time, so another plus. His back twinged again and now he recognized it for what it was – the contractions that back labor tended to mask. Just his luck that it was happening to him again. What were the odds?

“… yeah, so if you could just watch Josh while I take him down – no, we can’t tell. His back again. Right. They’ll be able to tell us better. Okay, see you in ten.” Dean hung up the phone and tossed it on the bed, quickly digging out a pair of loose sweats and tee for Cas to wear and helping them on. Slipping light shoes on to his feet, Cas pointed to the corner of the room at a pre-prepared backpack.

Dean snapped it up, slipped it over his naked shoulders and rejoined Cas at the bed, hands held out to help him up. Cas sighed and looked at him with a small smile.

“Dean, don’t you think  _you_ should get dressed too?”

Looking down at himself, still clad only in boxers, Dean blushed. “Uh, right. You’re right.” He shucked the backpack and wasted no time in rectifying that. As soon as he was dressed, Dean grabbed it and settled it back into place and was instantly in front of Cas, his hands held out once more.

Within moments, Dean opened the door to his mother. She was still in her own pajamas – and the evidence that they’d woken her up instantly made Cas feel guilty again - and she gave him a quick hug.

“Are you all set?”

Cas huffed behind Dean. “Yes, I think so. Josh is already sleeping and we’ve managed not to wake him up. Thanks for coming.”

“Of course, Cas.” She stepped inside and gave him a gentle hug and her calm scent soothed him, in a different way than Dean’s usually did, for which he was grateful for. “Now you two get going. And Dean – keep me posted!” she called out after them.

They got into the Impala, Dean tossing the backpack over the front seat after making sure Cas was situated. He got in, buckled and started it up, backing the car out of the driveway. Cas leaned back in the seat and simply inhaled, basking in his Alpha’s love for him. It eased a little of the anxiousness that curled about him, though the twinging pain in his back didn’t relent.

“What did she think we were going to do? Not tell her?” Dean mumbled as they set out for the hospital. “Oh, shit. I didn’t call Pamela!”

“Dean, the hospital will call her when we get there,” Cas assured him. “We should have plenty of time before we need her.”

Dean grimaced, but he nodded.

It seemed like it took forever, and yet no time at all, before they were at the hospital and Cas was being checked in while Dean hovered every step of the way.

It turned out Cas was wrong.

Less than an hour later, he and Dean were holding twin girls as the nurses fussed around them. Pamela breezed in, came to a stop at the sight and chuckled.

“Take it your little girls didn’t want to wait any longer,” she said, more than asked, resuming her steps. This time she came to a stop beside the bed. “Let me have a look at them,” she said softly, holding out her hands. Nobody moved. She chuckled lightly. “Now, now, boys, you know I’ll give ‘em right back.”

Reluctantly, Dean gave up the little girl in his own arms, and Cas looked at him gratefully. He wasn’t ready to let go of his little girl. He just wished he could hold both of them at the same time, but he was so tired and his limbs so weak that he didn’t feel safe doing so.

He turned to snuggle down closer to the baby in his arms, one eye kept on Pamela as she took their other baby. She did a quick exam, ending it with a smile before she looked at Cas.

“Trade ya?”

Just as reluctantly as Dean, Cas gave up the baby in his arms, but eagerly took the one being offered him. Both were girls but one was wearing blue and the other pink, just to differentiate them.

Pamela’s exam of the second baby was just as quick and efficient as the first as she handed the newborn to Dean. “They’re looking good, even for being so early,” she said approvingly. “You boys pick names for them yet?”

“Hmm… we’d been thinking about Claire Elizabeth and Emma Grace…” Dean said. “With the option to change if anything struck us when they were born. Cas?”

Cas shook his head, bending down to sniff at the newborn in his arms. This one had a shock of blonde hair while the one Dean held was a somewhat darker blonde, but who knew how that might change as they grew older.

“Yes,” he said softly. “I think this one is Claire and the other is Emma.”

He looked at Dean to find him beaming. “Agreed.”

Pamela laughed. “All righty, then. Sounds like the kids are all set. How about you, Cas?”

“Mmm… just tired,” he answered. And indeed he was, his eyes and head both drooping and he glanced at Dean.

“Don’t worry, I’ll put Emma down and rescue Claire so you can sleep,” Dean said, doing just that, pausing only to drop a kiss on Cas’s cheek. “They’ve been keeping you up for a few weeks now, so I say take your nap while you can. You know you’ll be waking up every time you nurse anyway.”

“True.”

Castiel watched their twins get put down in their beds, the nurses taking the opportunity to whisk them away for further checkups. He felt a great consternation at their disappearance, an even greater despair as they left then he’d felt even with Joshua. He just wanted to hold onto them and never let go.

Pamela looked at him sharply and he cringed, knowing instead of the happy vibes he should be giving off, she and Dean must be drowning in the scent of his distress, despite the scent blockers the hospital employed in every room.

“Now Cas, I’m a little concerned about _you,”_ Pamela said. _“_ The twins’ birth seems to have taken a lot more out of you than I expected, especially for how easily everything went.”

“I’m fine,” he protested. “Tired, as Dean said. My back ached even more terribly this time around then the first, but I figured it was because I was carrying double the weight which definitely could account for making my ability for doing anything, including sleeping, ten times harder. I’m sure I’ll be fine after I get a good night or two of sleep.”

Pamela hummed but didn’t contradict him. “Maybe so. Keep me updated on how you feel, all right?” she said, tapping his arm.

“Of course,” he said, grateful that she let it go. He wasn’t even sure what that had just been. Surely after he got some sleep he’d feel better. His eyes drooped, becoming too heavy to hold open, and he grasped for Dean, needing to scent him cleanly. Cas understood but hated the hospital scents, heavy handedly dispersed throughout the building to make scenting less overwhelming for their patients. And in some cases, the doctors. But without the comforting scent of their children, Cas needed something else to soothe him.

Dean, as usual, delivered. Taking his hand and raising it to his lips for a brief, quick kiss then leaning forward to kiss Cas’s cheek as well, Cas burying his nose along Dean’s neck for an instant or two before he finally fell asleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Cas had fallen asleep, pale faced with dark circles under his eyes. His hand held Dean’s, clenching around his fingers as if for dear life and Dean stared at him in concern. He covered their clasped hands and stroked along Cas’s fingers. Cas’s head was angled towards Dean, his nose crinkling slightly as he slowly relaxed under Dean’s gaze.

“I need you to keep an eye out on Cas for me,” Pamela said, startling Dean into turning to her, eyes wide with worry.

“Why? What’s wrong?” Dean blurted, unable to help the spike of panic that rose in him.

“Maybe nothing. But sometimes, after a birth, some new mothers – so to speak – get something called Post Partum Depression,” she said.

Dean felt a chill run through his bones, both his hands tightening around Cas, getting the sudden urge to climb into the bed and take him wholly in his arms. Dean had never heard of Post Partum Depression before, but it didn’t sound good at all.

“Now, it  _could_  be nothing, but your mates’ exhaustion  _could_  be a sign. Also, his reactions to being separated from the children was strong enough to override the hospitals misters. Neither of those things necessarily  _mean_ anything, mind you, but it’s something to keep an eye on, just in case,” Pamela explained.

Dean swallowed and nodded, his hand resuming a comforting stroke along Cas’s that was as much for Cas, as it was for him. “Of course I would. I always do, and he does me. We watch out for each other.”

“That’s good,” Pamela said approvingly, a small smile and a nod. She settled back against the wall and crossed her arms.

Taking a moment to just breathe, Dean finally asked, “Okay, so what is it? What am I watching out for?”

“Well, some new parents who suffer PPD will find themselves doing things they would  _never_ do in a million years. They’ll make irrational decisions that can hurt the people they love the most and, when it’s cleared up, they’re so ashamed of what they’ve done – they don’t often make it. So if you see Cas doing anything strange – and I don’t mean pickles in ice cream strange, more like unexplained anger or a sudden disinterest in the things he enjoys - try and talk to him, or get him to come see me.”

“What did I do wrong?” he asked, his voice small. Was she right? Was Cas just tired, or was Cas suffering from Post Partum Depression? And if so, was it his fault? Had Dean not pampered Cas enough during the pregnancy? Had he not helped enough? What had he missed? How could he have been such a bad Alpha, such a bad  _mate_?

“Nothing, Dean,” Pamela said gently. “It’s just a hormone imbalance. It happens sometimes. But as his Alpha, you’ll be crucial in helping make sure things don’t get worse. Just as it is your first instinct to blame yourself for how he’s feeling, he’s going to be thinking the same about himself and that is a cycle he cannot afford to allow to start. Again, it’s all hormonal, and nothing you or he did triggered it. But we can help him.”

She paused, giving him a significant look. “And Dean?”

He stared, eyes wide, feeling overwhelmed with guilt and worry.

“Don’t forget to take care of yourself at the same time. You won’t do your mate any good if you allow yourself to get worn out and overwhelmed. It’ll make the stress return tenfold – to both of you. This is a team effort – not just by you and him, but by your mutual support network. A support network I _know_ you both have in the loving family and friends I’ve met and known over the years. Don’t be afraid to let them help you,” she said firmly, her eyes pinning him in place.  “You may be an Alpha, but that’s no reason not to ask for help when it’s needed.”

Dean flushed. Pamela might be a little right. But for Cas and his kids, Dean would do anything he needed to help them and keep them safe. If that meant sacrificing a bit of pride and dignity… then so be it.

As they finished speaking, Dean still stroking Cas’s hand, the twins were wheeled back in and set up nearby. Dean felt tension he hadn’t realized he was carrying flow back out of him at the sight of his brand new girls.

Taking one last look at Cas’s chart, Pamela wrote a note, nodded to Dean and left him alone with Cas and the girls.

Alone with his thoughts.

He swallowed, staring hard at his mate. Dean couldn’t help the worry that started gnawing at the pit of his stomach. Cas and Joshua, and already Emma and Claire, there were everything to him and he wanted them to be happy.

What if he did the wrong thing? What if his attempts to help Cas made things worse? He shook his head hard, running a hand over Cas’s brow and sweeping the hair out of his face. Well, he couldn’t _not_ try. He loved Cas too much not too.

But Pamela was right. He didn’t have to do it alone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Cas woke, his hospital room had been transformed.

He blinked, scootching up a bit before the back of the bed started moving so he didn’t have to. He turned and found Dean, smiling, by his side.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Dean said, leaning over to give Cas a kiss.

“Morning, Dean,” Cas echoed, his hand reaching out to grab Dean’s and give it a squeeze – as much for his own reassurance that Dean was there than anything else. He looked around the room again. “What’s going on?”

“Weeeell… everyone wanted to come in and see you and the twins as soon as they were able _and_ a few folks were a little put out that they weren’t able to throw the baby shower they’d been planning, but they were _also_ afraid of overwhelming us when we’re supposed to be bonding so…”

Cas looked around at all the flowers and balloons decorating his room, a table in the corner with a handful of gifts and then to the small group of people scattered about the room.

Mary, John, Sam, Gabriel and Josh were a given and Cas was not in anyway surprised to see them. Eileen, Charlie and Benny were as well and… yes, Anna, Hannah and Samandriel.

Eleven people in his room. The room wasn’t all that big and he was surprised the hospital had even allowed it. But it was also smaller than the planned baby shower – it was actually even smaller than the _original_ shower, that had had only 18 people - and it was all family.

Cas felt his heart swelling at the sight, tears welling in his eyes. He turned his head to Dean, burying his face in Dean’s shirt.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, Cas,” Dean murmured.

“I know. I’m happy. I don’t know why I’m…” Cas sniffed, clutching at Dean and breathing deep to get his Alpha scent before slowly relaxing and pulling away. “All right. I’m good now.”

Dean patted his shoulder, beaming. “Okay then! So, most of the gifts are being sent straight to the house. Jody’s taking care of that for us. What’s actually here are things that will be useful _now_. Like…” Dean turned and reached for something Cas couldn’t see, then turned back and held it out. “Outfits!” he beamed.

The onesie he held up was adorable. Whereas everything had been bumblebee themed for Josh, Cas hadn’t set a theme this time and everyone had taken advantage of that. This onesie was a ladybug, the next one he held up was covered in sunflowers.

“We got some superheroes too, and loads more,” Dean said. “But I thought these would be cute for their first non-hospital outfits?”

Dean looked at him hopefully and Cas smiled. “Yes, I approve.”

“Awesome. I’ll go risk life and limb and snag the twins back from mom and dad,” Dean said, beaming at him.

Cas chuckled, watching him do just that, the rest of them finally taking note that he was awake. Thankfully, instead of everyone rushing him at once, Mary gave up one of the girls to Dean while John helped Dean change them into their newly chosen outfits.

Mary came over first.

“How you feeling, sweetie?”

“Not quite as tired as I was, and eager to hold my girls again,” Castiel said. “Thank you, again, for last night – “

“Shhh,” Mary said, placing a finger over his lips. “It’s not a problem. Ever. It’s what family is for.”

Cas smiled at her. Even after all this time, it amazed him how easily the Winchesters had taken him in and how _there_ they were for each other. Not to say everything was always roses, but when push came to shove, they were by your side.

He felt tears forming in his eyes again and he angrily swiped at them. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Nothing, Cas,” Mary smiled, patting his arm like Dean had. “And remember, it’s twins now. If anything feels like too much, don’t be afraid to speak up.”

“All right, here’s little Emma in the ladybug outfit, and Claire is in the sunflower one,” Dean said, appearing beside Mary, one baby in each arm. Cas’s breath caught in his throat as he reached for them. Dean carefully placed one in each of Cas’s arms with Mary’s help, arranging pillows to help Cas support them more easily.

Cas was very grateful for that, and that he hadn’t even needed to say anything. Dean had just instinctively known that Cas wanted to hold both of them but had also realized Cas still wasn’t feeling completely balanced just yet.

He stared down at their perfect little faces, Emma sleeping peacefully but Claire shifting about restlessly. A tug on his blanket showed him Joshua trying to climb up.

Charlie came rushing over. “Oh no, Josh, here, why don’t you stay over here with me right now – “

“No, Charlie,” Cas croaked. “Please, I know you mean well, and thank you, but I want all my children right now.” He turned pleading eyes to Dean and Dean nodded back. He picked up Joshua and held him in his arms, turning to face the little boy towards Cas.

“Now, Joshua, I know you want to say hi to Papa, and he wants to say hi too, but he’s holding your sisters so you’ve got to be careful, okay? And no bouncing on Papa, he’s a little worn out right now. Okay?” Dean asked him solemnly.

Josh stared up at Dean with wide eyes, sucking briefly on his thumb with his plush bee tucked under one arm before he nodded. Dean placed him down on the bed, beside Cas’s legs and held him steady while Josh leaned in to give Cas and each baby girl a kiss, each one carefully gentle before he settled back ad beamed, chattering at Cas.

Cas’s heart would have melted right then if it hadn’t already been fairly well melted by all the love he was feeling. His heart soared, having all his family close by his side. Mary had faded off, back into the small crowd, taking Charlie with her and leaving Dean and Cas with their children.

“We’re so lucky,” Cas said softly. “Aren’t we lucky, Josh?”

“Yes, Papa,” Josh beamed. He held out his favorite plush bee. “Do they wan’ Buzzy? ‘s really soft.”

“Ooh,” Cas croaked out, touched by the generosity of his son’s gesture, Dean’s scent filling with pride right along with him. “Oh, baby, no. That’s yours and always yours and you can share it if you want, and that’s really, really kind of you. But just like we got Buzzy for you, your sisters will get their own special plushies to keep and love. You’ll just have to show them how it’s done, all right?”

“Okay,” Josh said, beaming, pulling the bee back to his chest and continuing to chatter in that strange mix of words that sometimes actually meant nothing.

Claire started nosing about and Cas laughed.

“I think it’s feeding time,” he said. He looked up at Dean. “Would you help me?”

“Of course. Sit back a bit Josh, that good, thank you.”

Cas noted Josh watching with wide, fascinated eyes as Dean carefully reached around the babies to undo the hospital gown Cas was still wearing and baring his chest. Claire latched on almost instantly, knowing exactly what she wanted, while they had to wake Emma and guide her.

It was at the first suckle that Cas _really_ felt the tension draining away. Whatever had been wrong earlier was fading and Cas was settling into his happy place.

Surrounded by family and loved ones, Cas knew whatever happened, he’d be okay.

And if he needed a little help, one look around the room showed him just a fraction of the people who were willing to be there for him, Dean and the kids, and for that, he was truly and profoundly grateful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote a chunk of the first part while writing the last timestamp. and decided they didn't fit together so i guess i'd write another one.
> 
> ...
> 
> i think i set myself up for another one AGAIN. cause i have some further ideas. *bangs head on the table* NO PROMISES ON WHEN though...
> 
> Rebloggable Tumblr Post for this chapter[here](https://pherryt.tumblr.com/post/181183721826/portrait-of-a-family-chapter-3-double-helpings)


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